This Love
by kbrewster
Summary: She loves him. He loves her. That should be enough to keep any relationship going, shouldn't it? Oneshot.


**Ever since I heard Taylor Swift's new album, every time I hear the song This Love I can't help but think about Hotch and Emily. I finally got a little one-shot planned and written to go with it. : ) **

XxxxX

_This love is good. _

Foyet. Doyle. Paris. Emily and Aaron's relationship had survived all these things, and somehow they were still together. It started years ago, just after he and Haley legally divorced. A coffee placed on his desk when she knew he'd been working all night. Lunch dates when he knew Emily was working too hard to remember to eat. Dinners out after hard cases. Nights together when they just needed to be with somebody that understood. After Foyet, Emily went above and beyond to make sure Aaron and Jack were doing alright. Without being asked, Emily made herself available to Jack as a maternal figure he could turn to other than Jessica.

Emily still didn't regret not telling the team about Doyle. She wished the outcome had been different, but she knew he would have went after Aaron and Jack if he knew they were onto him. She hated that she had to leave Aaron and Jack. She hated that Aaron and JJ had to lie for her. She hated that because of_ him_ she had to fake her death. It took her a long time to stop blaming herself for what happened. Aaron had a hand in that. He'd stay with her or invite her over when she'd send him a late night text. He knew the nightmares were torture. He knew she felt guilty. He would just hold her close and remind her over and over again that she was here, she was alive, and no one was mad at her.

Things were better than good; things were great between Aaron and Emily outside of work. The two of them spent countless nights together after work and weekends. Many nights they would have dinner with Jack, laughing together and indulging the young boy in his silly stories and funny jokes. Some weekends, Aaron would invite her on a walk in the park or a trip to a museum with Jack. On more than one occasion, someone had mistaken them for a family; referring to Emily as Jack's mother or Aaron's wife. None of them ever felt it necessary to correct the person. What they had was good, what did it matter what anyone else thought?

They spent just as many nights without Jack as they did with him. They'd have dinner, maybe watch a movie and cuddle up together on the couch; but they always ended up in either her or Aaron's bed. Their bodies fit together like they were made for each other. They knew how to please the other and make the other moan in exactly the right way. They always knew when the other was having a bad day. They would spend hours lying in each other's arms, not saying a word, just enjoying each other's company on a long sleepless night. Emily loved how she seemed to fit against his chest perfectly, and how when he knew she was having a hard night, he'd pull her just a little bit closer. As if his strong embrace would shield her from everything bad in this life. Aaron loved how no matter what, her hair always seemed to smell like flowers and her body always had the faintest scent of coconut. He loved how she would take his hand and rub circles on the back of his hand with her thumb.

They were slowly learning that not only did they have each other's backs in the field and in the office; but also in life.

_This love is bad. _

"We can't keep doing this." Aaron told her. They were sitting together, curled up on Emily's couch the night after JJ and Will's wedding. Emily was stalling telling him about Clyde's offer, but now she felt completely blind-sided. Had she missed some signs that he wasn't feeling the same way she was? Why would he say that?

Emily turned, removing herself from Aaron's arms and gave him a look. "Why not? It's good. We're good. We're still doing our jobs." Emily argued, feeling her heartbeat increase and her palms start to sweat.

Hotch took a breath and closed his eyes, leaning into the headboard. "I- I can't do this job and be with you." He admitted.

Emily felt tears burn at her eyes, but she blinked and forced them back. She couldn't do that now. "What are you saying, Aaron? I know we've had more shit thrown at us than any couple has probably ever had in the history of the world…but…but why now?" She asked, trying with difficulty to not sound desperate for answers. It wasn't like this was the first time she'd been dumped, but she'd also never felt this way about the guy doing it. He was wonderful. He was a great agent, his mind was always about saving the victims; getting justice for the ones they'd been too late to save. Sometimes cases came home with him, and he'd have a hard time getting over them. She would make sure he got time with Jack after those bad cases; she knew how much that little boy made Aaron's world spin.

Hotch hated himself for this. He'd never felt like this about anyone before. Not even Haley. He loved Haley, but he didn't even know what it felt like to be _in love _with someone until he met Emily. She was beautiful, but she was tough. With one glare, he'd seen her break even the most stubborn criminals. He'd seen her take down men two or three times her size without hesitation; then turn around moments later and comfort a victim and make them feel a little safer. He'd never met anyone quite like her, and it made it hard for him to separate their relationship from their job. He couldn't be objective anymore.

"Two days ago you almost blew up two different times. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to act like you were just an agent on my team in front of Strauss? Do you know how badly I wanted to run into that damn bank and find you myself? When you and Will were up in that bank and I kept calling you, but you stopped answering…I thought…I thought something happened." Hotch admitted.

"I'm okay, Aaron. This is all part of the job. It's not like this is the first time I've been in immediate danger, probably won't be the last." Emily said, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"I can't do it, Emily. I just…I love you too much." He said. Her breath caught in her throat. She didn't say anything back. She couldn't. She felt him wrap his arms around her again. She should have protested and told him to leave, but she didn't. She just buried her head in his chest and pretended their conversation didn't happen. There was no way she could tell him about Clyde's offer now. The offer stood for a while, so she decided to give it more time.

_This love is alive, back from the dead. _

No matter how many times they told themselves they weren't together anymore, that they couldn't keep finding their way to each other; it always seemed to happen. More often than not, they'd find their way back into each other's arms.

After a tough case or a rough night dealing with their own demons, they'd swear they'd only have one drink together. One lead to two, two lead to three. Before they knew it they were drunk in a cab headed to Aaron's apartment. It was as if their bodies had never been apart. They melded together; two pieces of the same puzzle, everything just felt right.

Six weeks after the bank case, Emily still hadn't told Hotch she was still considering Clyde's offer. Clyde kept calling her several times a day. He didn't trust anybody else to take over for him quite like he trusted Emily. Part of her wanted to do it, especially since she and Aaron had such a complicated thing going. She hardly ever saw Jack anymore, they only spent drunken nights together once every other week or so. It didn't feel like it used to. Maybe some space would be good for the both of them.

"Aaron." Emily said seriously one night at a bar. They were both still on their first drink, so they were clear headed enough to have this conversation. Neither one of them were sure why they were here, they hadn't been on any cases in the last couple of weeks. But Aaron had mentioned Jack was at a sleepover tonight and somehow they made plans to meet at this smoky old bar.

"What's wrong?" He asked, setting his glass down and meeting her gaze, recognizing that tone. She was serious about something.

She took a breath and glanced down, running her finger around her glass to distract herself.

"I um…I got a call from Clyde. He wants me to…well, essentially run the Interpol office in London." She admitted, a knot forming in her stomach as she tried not to think about the 3,662 miles that would separate them if she actually went through with this.

Aaron looked at her for a moment. "Are you considering taking it?" He asked, though he already knew the answer. Of course she was. Why would she be bringing it up if she wasn't serious about taking it?

Emily bit her lip and nodded. "You remember at JJ and Will's wedding? You asked me if I wanted to talk about it?" Aaron nodded. "I…I was going to tell you then, when you came over that next night. But then…you said you didn't want to be together anymore. So I didn't tell you then, I guess…I think I wanted you to change your mind. About us." Emily clarified, feeling her cheeks get warm and her hands start to shake. She'd never been any good at this feelings stuff.

"Were you going to take it then?" Aaron asked.

Emily shrugged. "I loved being with you. But…ever since I got back I just feel like there's this constant weight on my chest and no matter how hard I try to take a breath I can never take one deep enough. You were the only thing that made me feel like I could breathe again." Emily admitted.

Hotch stared at her. He didn't know what to say. He stood by what he said six weeks ago. He couldn't be with her and still function on the team.

"If you need to leave for your own well-being, who am I to stop you?" Hotch asked. She just nodded, not trusting herself to speak without crying.

_These hands had to let it go free. _

"Tell me to stay." Emily pleaded, her voice just above a whisper as Hotch held her close to him in the airport. She was leaving today, she knew she needed a change, and right now London was the only other option she'd been given. The airport was loud and busy and there were people everywhere, but as they held each other it felt like they were the only two people in the whole world.

"No. God, Emily. It's Interpol. It's you _running _an entire office. I'd be an asshole to tell you not to go." Aaron said seriously, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"What about this? Us?" Emily asked.

"I don't know if we're anything anymore." Aaron said honestly.

"I love you, you have to know that." Emily said softly. "But ever since…him…" She couldn't bring herself to say Doyle's name.

"I know." Aaron said, kissing her cheek as she pulled away. She grabbed her carry on from him and walked away, turning around just before she was out of his sight and waved to him, unsure of if or when she'd ever see him again.

_This love came back to me. _

It had been one year since Emily went to London. One year since Aaron had seen her. They had tried to keep in touch, they really had. They e-mailed, talked on the phone, and even Skyped a couple of times. But with the time changes and the work load, days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months without so much as a "hello." Hotch knew she was happy; he could hear it in her voice and tell by her words that she really liked her job. She liked London; she liked the people she worked with. He was sure she'd finally moved on and was at peace for once.

So when he opened his door at 1am on a Friday night to find Emily standing there awkwardly, he didn't know what to think.

"What…the hell?" He managed, still half asleep.

"Aaron…I can't—I can't do it." Emily said, shifting her weight from foot to foot, clearly anxious and nervous.

"Emily," Hotch breathed, gently pulling her inside and guiding her to the couch. He placed a hand on her shoulder to steady her as she sat down. "Tell me what's wrong."

Emily shook her head. "Nothing's _wrong. _I just… I need you. I don't care anymore. About any of it. Just you." Emily said, feeling tears roll down her cheeks despite her best efforts to keep them at bay.

"I need _you_." Aaron said softly. "God, Emily. This year has been hell without you." He admitted, pulling her into his arms and feeling like the world stopped when she laid her head against his chest. Her hair still smelled like flower, and he detected the faintest scent of coconut. Emily was really here.

They both knew, though they didn't say anything more that their love was many things; but the most important was that it was _theirs. _


End file.
